Motherhood

If you asked me 13 years ago if I wanted to be a Mom I would have told you "No". I was planning on being a criminal prosecuting attorney for the state of Utah. There wasn't any time to have/raise kids. If you had asked me 6 years ago {when Ryan & I had just married} I would have told you, "maybe in five years". The thought of Motherhood scared me. To have a little human being 100% completely reliant on YOU. I felt that it would suck my life away. I felt that Motherhood was a career choice. Something that you gave your whole life up for....little did I know, I was very wrong.


August 2007. Changed my perspective. Changed my priorities. Changed my life. I am honored to be Emma's mother. I'm grateful for the lessons that she taught me. Motherhood wasn't a "career" it is a calling. The scripture "many are called, but few are chosen" came to be pretty personal to me. There were good days. There were bad days. There were days that I could hold a baby. There were days that seriously considered setting the baby section at Target aflame. If Motherhood is such a nobel calling why couldn't I have it? What was wrong with me? Why is it so easy for everyone else in this world get pregnant? {pictured above me & Ryan with our Emma}

Time

Patience

Prayer

Study

Patience

Time

Prayer

Pleading

Knowledge

Patience

Time

Faith

Patience

Time

Our first meeting. To say the sound of crying is the most beautiful sound in the world may sound wrong/strange. In this instance {the birth of Brigham} it was the sound I most wanted to hear. Once I heard it, I think I started to breathe for the first time. I was a mother. I knew that I was a Mother, but now I was a Mother to a child that needed to be on earth. I was instantly smitted. Who wouldn't be with that squashy little face?

I am a Mother. It's a calling. It's a characteristic. It's not the ball-and-chain nieve notion that I thought it was when I was young. To say that I am grateful is an understatement, but I can't think of another phrase, so...I'm grateful.

Two talks that I have heard recently that have touched my heart so much on the subject of motherhood:

A "Mother Heart" by Julie B. Beck

and

" Are We Not All Mother's?" by Sheri Dew

{that one had me crying before I could choke out an Amen}

I could really go on and on about this subject, but it's late...so I won't. All I will say is that

- you don't have to have a child to be a Mother.